The audience for this post is pretty narrow, but I promised to share this list. If you don't know what it's about, just know that it was at someone else's expense. There was a single moment last week when I, for just a second, actually felt sorry for Squirrel Head. That feeling faded almost immediately. Turns out that Squirrel Head just wasted everyone's time and tried our patience for no reason whatsoever. Don't pretend to be an expert at everything if you're actually just a spineless puke at heart. We were never impressed. You never made us respect you or your technical prowess. We had nothing but disdain for you then, and especially now. Thanks for putting so much effort into ruining the learning experience for everyone.
And now, the list.
Embassy expert.
Cat expert.
Airline expert.
Door expert.
Lock expert.
Backup expert.
Union expert.
Financial expert.
Geology expert.
Expert at being racially insensitive.
Laundry expert.
Desktop audit expert.
Video teleconference expert.
Parallel testing expert.
Simulation testing expert.
Disaster recovery plan expert.
Backup expert (This one happened twice. Once was presumably for redundancy).
Seismology expert.
Gender expert.
Fire expert.
Fence expert.
Linear measurement expert.
Door expert. (Hmm, this one is a repeat)
US CERT Team expert (claims to have been on the short list for a job w/ CERT but "the background check took too long..." and he "got tired of waiting...". Sure. That's how it went down, I'm sure.)
Art expert.
DCOM expert.
SOAP expert.
File system expert.
Backdoor expert. (No comment...too easy).
Timing and storage expert.
Virus expert.
Zone Alarm expert.
Financial expert. (Another duplicate)
Zero-day exploit expert.
Database expert.
Humor expert.
Wal-Mart expert.
Atomicity expert.
Reading expert.
RAID expert.
Prison expert.
Muslim law expert.
Counting expert.
Data mining expert.
Data mart expert.
Data warhousing expert.
Controlled substance expert.
Wizard of Oz expert.
DaVinci Code expert.
Theological literature expert.
Grammar expert.
Las Vegas law expert.
Ring topology expert.
Air Force finance expert.
Cable expert.
DSL-VOIP expert.
802.11i expert.
Blackberry expert.
Europe expert.
DHCP expert.
Telephone (POTS) expert.
K9 expert.
Dog show expert.
ATM expert.
Tunnel expert.
Home networking expert.
Loopback expert.
Personal firewall expert.
Subnetting expert.
Vista networking expert.
HDTV expert.
Proofreading expert.
Holiday expert.
Flow expert. (I don't even know how this one made the list)
Host file location expert.
HTTPS expert.
Spam expert.
Opt-Out expert.
Spare tire expert.
RAID expert (yet another duplicate entry).
"Whatever" expert. (I'm sure I was tired of keeping track by this time).
Reboot expert.
Counting expert (Hey, I really didn't add duplicates intentionally).
Comprehension expert.
Colombia expert.
State Department expert.
Customer service expert.
Incident response expert.
Cats in Afghanistan expert.
And my favorite direct quote of the week....
"I'm the dumbest one in the whole class."
This is the entire list transcribed just as it was written, excluding the comments in parentheses.
Good times.
Really.
Posts
